Some years ago, in my search for healing from the effects of childhood trauma, I began seeing a Christian counselor. At first, condemning thoughts confused me. As a child, I knew that talking about the violence in our home was forbidden. I wondered, was I dishonoring my parents by talking about it in the privacy of a counselor’s office?
Knowing people who’d grown up in similar situations and who seemed to be doing well increased my self-condemnation. I thought that my need to see a counselor meant I was weak or that there was something terribly wrong with me. What I didn’t know then was that I’d minimized the harm of childhood trauma, something many people do.
In spite of these condemning thoughts, I continued counseling. My life was so dysfunctional I felt I had no choice. Then one day, I had an epiphany that gave me the permission I needed to continue the work of healing. Though the epiphany was specific to my childhood growing up in the Christian church, it brings truth to all people who need to give themselves permission to seek healing from trauma.
This was my epiphany: In our church, if someone was hit by a train and recovering in the hospital, people would send flowers, come to visit, bring meals to the family, offer to babysit, help with shopping and cleaning, and pray for healing. If the accident victim needed ongoing physical therapy or more surgeries, people would not question the need for continued help. Because they understood that healing from physical trauma takes time, they would not think the person was being selfish or weak. Support would be generously given.
In contrast, if a person had been “hit by a train” emotionally (by some traumatic life event – domestic violence, being raped, being bullied, sexual abuse) the need for help was either ignored or viewed with suspicion. As the traumatized person stumbled toward healing, they experienced impatience from those who wondered what was wrong with their spiritual lives. There were no flowers, no meals, no offers of help, and few offers of prayer. Those who experienced an emotional train-wreck were told to focus on serving those less fortunate to help put their own suffering into perspective.
With this epiphany, I saw how easily people understand the need to heal from physical trauma, yet how the need to heal from emotional trauma is at best misunderstood, and at worst, judged as frivolous and selfish.
Putting this subject in the context of the Bible and Christianity, I see that just as God cares about the health of our bodies, He cares about the health of our hearts and emotions. When we hurt, He hurts. Like a good dad, He wants to help make things better.
We see one of Jesus’ purposes in coming stated in Isaiah 61:1a: “The Spirit of the Lord God is upon Me; because the Lord hath anointed me to preach good tidings unto the meek; He hath sent Me to bind up the brokenhearted.” (KJV)
Though I memorized this verse as a child, because I’d minimized the damage that had been done, I didn’t think it applied to me. When I realized my heart was broken, I invited Jesus to begin healing me. He has, and His care for my heart has changed my life. When the healing work is painful or takes longer than I would like, knowing I can trust Jesus’ care for my heart has given me courage to continue moving forward.
Seeking healing from the effects of childhood trauma has been one of the most important things I’ve ever done. It has made everything better.
In future blog posts, I will write about some specific areas in my life that have been healed.
If your life has been impacted by trauma, I encourage you to consider seeking healing. If you have minimized the effects of trauma and have believed that seeking healing means you are weak or that something is wrong with you, I encourage you to begin to acknowledge the damage that has been done, and to seek healing.
I would love to hear your thoughts on this topic. Please let me know if you have questions, or if you have stories to share about the importance of healing in your life.
If you found value in this post, please subscribe by joining the mailing list at the top of this blog. If you have friends who might benefit from reading about this topic, please share this post and my website with them. Thank you.
Great article, well written and so true. Working on our emotional healing is probably our most important job in this lifetime. Our emotions affect everything in our life: Our relationships, our career, our self esteem and our health. Our emotions play a huge part in our physical health. There have been many studies regarding our health as we age and childhood abuse. A person that has been abused early in life many times will develop physical symptoms in their 50’s and 60’s and later for no apparent reason, These people can spend the rest of their life’s going to doctors, healer, trying this diet and that diet and still feel no better. Unless they address the emotional cause and work on healing it, they are wasting their time and money and will become very emotionally depressed and hopeless.
You hit the nail on the head, Robby!! For too long, emotional and physical trauma were silenced. And the only way to think of it was that there was something wrong with you – no the person hurting you. You! Thank God, He accepts everyone into His hospital!!
Thank you for your boldness in sharing your story and giving others the courage to share theirs, seek Godly counsel, and live a life freed from the sting and shame of trauma!!
Thank you for your words, “He (God) accepts everyone into His hospital!!” Such a great reminder!
For too many years, I didn’t know God could heal from emotional trauma. I remember crying while singing songs in church about freedom from shame because I knew my life was controlled by shame, but I didn’t know how to access the freedom I was singing about. Now when I sing songs about freedom from shame, I cry for joy because of the freedom I have experienced.
I believe that the healing Jesus offers is one of the most important, yet underreported, benefits of why Jesus came.
Well said, Steve! Thank you for the information about studies regarding childhood abuse as it relates to health as we age, and how people who have been abused as children develop physical symptoms in their 50’s and 60’s. This is a big deal! These studies help to show one aspect of the importance of emotional healing for those who have experienced childhood trauma. As I wrote in my blog post, the work of healing has been one of the most important things I’ve ever done. I plan to write about specific healings in future posts. I hope that what I share encourages you and others to continue to seek healing and wholeness.